A Letter for Kim Jongwoon 3

A Letter for Kim Jongwoon (3)

Dear Kim Jongwoon oppa,

I’m starting this letter by saying… I’m ok. No, I’m pretending that I’m ok. You come to my country, this is the closest distance between us. I really hope I could go and meet you. To feel breathing with you in the same building, to see you so close but I can’t touch you, to listen to your voice that can make me burst in tears… but you know what? I can’t… this time, I can’t do that.

Before it, I believe that our memory in February 2012 could last forever just like our memory in December 2010. But those memories are fades away… time has stolen it. I forgot that feeling and that moment… Just if I can go to meet you this April, we’ll make another memory… but I can’t.

I’m crying… because I’m afraid we don’t have another chance next year… You’ll go to enlistment soon, don’t you? How if last February is our last meeting before you go to enlistment? And this April, I’ve just let go this golden chance to meet you… How can I hold the rest of those fade memories? How can I keep the memories alive until you’ve released from enlistment? Tell me how!

I’m really pretending that I’m ok. I always believe we’ll have another chance, but deep inside… I cry… my heart keeps hurting… I try to think of another thing, but when the day you come to my country is approaching, I can’t control my feeling anymore. Just laugh at it, I’m stupid, am I?

In my prayer, I only hope that God will give me one more chance to create a moment with you before you go to enlistment… Just one more chance… Then I promise I won’t cry again… I promise I’ll go to meet you in your country when you’ve released from enlistment… I’ll be one of the crowds to welcome you after you’ve released… Really, I promise it.

My love for you… just this deep. Or is this not deep enough? I’m sorry. If I really love you, all I must do is go to meet you this April. Because of this, will you think that I don’t love you enough? Kim Jongwoon ah~ I love you. Please don’t think that I wasn’t your Cloud if I can’t meet you this time. Maybe someday… I could tell about this love directly to you. But if I don’t have any chance at all… believe me, I’ll keep this love… deep inside my heart, in the place where no one could replace and take away my love to you. I’m sorry… and… I love you. I’ll always be your Cloud, right?

Sincerely,

Your Cloud